Dear Home Office, Thanks a lot.

Thanks for valuing family life.
You’re all about keeping families together these days, huh? Families work best when together and are good for a person’s well-being. Right? I bet happy individuals, from their happy families, go on to be really productive at their jobs. Families are like little corporations, with each individual having a vital role in the advancement of the whole. I bet you have department meetings on this stuff. When you rolled out the new immigration laws in 2013, you were aiming to preserve the family unit. Because you are all about the British people.
In my family, I currently take care of our child, meal-plan, cook, clean, plan play-dates and run the family calendar. That’s just now because in the past I contributed half the family’s monetary income. I’m happy, when my family is happy.

do what youlove Conrad
I also happen to be a US citizen and everyone else in my little family, is British.
I’m not happy that you are making me leave my family the end of this month, to return to the States. That is no bueno, to say the very least.
Thanks for supporting my marriage.

Chris and I celebrated 10 awesome years of marriage in July!

Chris and I celebrated 10 awesome years of marriage in July!

Marriage is really important to the Home Office. I can tell. I’m sure you have a poster of a blissful interracial couple, hand-in-hand, that says, “Happy Marriages Benefit England.” I’m sure you would rather keep a married couple together because that is a large part of marriage.
Being. Together. Most days. In the same country, preferably.
One of the reasons we married 10 years ago, so fast, was we couldn’t stand an international, long-distance relationship. We are better together and Skype doesn’t cut it. Being apart two or three months is NOT healthy for a married couple’s relationship. I’m sure you already knew that.
…and other familial relationships.

wrestle conniedaddy connie
My 2-year-old is a British citizen, but since I am his mummy (and still breastfeeding and the main stay-at-home-parent) Conrad is coming with me. That means he will be separated from one of his favorite people in the world, “Daeee!” In fact, Conrad does not say Mummy, but calls me Daddy, as well. Daddy is the favorite. 2 or 3 months apart for a toddler might as well be 2 to 3 years apart. So thank you very much for taking that into consideration.

boys with blocks
Yes, I will be staying with my mom and probably be well taken care of in California. Thank you for asking. But we’ve been living with Mom for the past TWO YEARS! Everyone was very thankful to part ways, when we moved out, finally. Chris and I were very happy to be on our own again in beautiful Ely.
Thanks for worrying about our growing family.
Thanks for taking your time to respond because I would have never contacted Honorable Theresa May, MP in charge of Immigration. I wrote her (and the Prime Minister and President Obama), to express my dismay in being sent back to the United States, away from my family and home. I’m still waiting for responses, by the way.
You see, my husband and I deal with infertility. So being apart 2 to 3 months, as we try for a second little miracle, is a set-back (Please Ms. May, grant me an exception. My husband and I have got business to attend to!). Honestly the NHS should be glad I’m infertile. I won’t be producing a huge family and I’m even thinking about fostering or adopting. That would help your little population problem, wouldn’t it?
Thanks for helping us settle down.
It’s a little ironic, that after all the transition in our lives (we’ve lived in loads of different places) we decided to finally plant roots in England, only to have me get into an immigration rigmarole and sent back. Thanks a lot. God forbid I fill out your forms and mail it in, while tending to my family on English soil. That’s asking too much, isn’t it?
My visa application fees are expensive enough, at over £800. A tax on international families, like us. We also paid them as Chris applied for his green card and then became a citizen of the United States. But the extra $2,000 on flights and $300 a month on healthcare (Side-note: I’m glad I’m not pregnant because then I wouldn’t have been able to get it covered by insurance, since it’s considered a pre-existing condition), while staying in California, sort of takes money straight out of our house deposit savings. I’m really glad you would like to see our little family own their first home. You’re so kind.
Thanks for caring about our family budget.
Besides the cost of the application, travel costs and health insurance fees, this whole situation could have been looked after by a lawyer/solicitor. We have it in writing (Twice! From two different immigration enquiry people!) that I should come to the UK as a visitor and then apply for my spouse/settlement visa, and then rudely told that was not true.
Here’s the first chat session with the Enquiry office:
2014-04-09 18:03:49: Chris (in United States) said ‘Once she is in the UK can she apply for the visa?’

2014-04-09 18:04:51: Frederico said ‘Yes, but to come into the UK without a visa, she must come here as a visitor.. But what she really wants is to come and JOIN her family in he UK (you), correct?’

2014-04-09 18:05:30: Frederico said ‘We cannot advice people on what sort of visa to apply, it is the applicant sole responsibility ‘

2014-04-09 18:06:13: Chris (in United States) said ‘I am not asking you this question. I am asking if it is OK for her to visit and apply for a visa.’

2014-04-09 18:07:19: Frederico said ‘She can do it, yes, it is possible for her to do it

2014-04-09 18:07:42: Chris (in United States) said ‘OK’

2014-04-09 18:07:47: Chris (in United States) said ‘Thanks’
Here’s the second; an email from the Enquiry office:
Subject: ContactID#11919#
Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2014 02:54:03 +0100

Dear Chris, Thank you for contacting the UK Visa and Immigrations International Enquiry Service. Your wife and son can come to UK as a visitor then they can apply settlement visa in UK. We hope that this has answered your query, For any further details, or should you need to contact us again please refer to our website at Kind Regards, Michie Mori UK Visa and Immigrations International Enquiry Service
We should have a case. But I’ve been reading how you like to take people back to court even if a judge rules in their favor and we cannot, and will not, spend our limited resources and emotional reserves on that. How can we fight against an organization with unlimited funds and money? You win. Game over.

18.02.13: Ben Jennings on migrant benefits theresa may quote
I truly believe the quickest and fastest way out of this mess, is to go back for a quarter of a year, submit all my passports with my application, fees, and wait. Thanks for the forced holiday in sunny California! Without my Husband. Taking two more 11-hour international flights with an active 2-year-old in economy class, all by myself. You are all sorts of awesome..
Thanks for being efficient and polite.
I don’t know how you cope with your job, processing so many people, in and out of the country. Subsequently, I understand if there might be a little bit of a delay. We waited a month after our first complaint, submitted the beginning of July, to hear from you. You know what you replied with? That we didn’t have a complaint, but an inquiry, AND told to contact your Enquiry people!!!!!
Back the lorry up – THEY were the ones that, not once, but twice, advised us that I could come to the UK as a visitor and then apply in country. They are the reason we are in this mess and why I’m angry and dismayed enough to write this post. Are you kidding us? Are we on Candid Camera? Is this a joke?
So, right at this very moment, my family is still waiting for the response to the SECOND complaint, filed the beginning of AUGUST. I have to leave in less than two weeks! You have also given the ombudsman we are working with the run around, saying that you are entitled to, at least, 20 days to process.
I have a time limit and you don’t. A time limit your gracious and understanding border agent at Heathrow stamped firmly into my passport, while she enunciated every word of, “You cannot apply for your visa while you are here. You have to wait until you are in the United States.” While I do realize she was at the very end of her shift (Co-workers were checking in with her while she processed me, wondering when she was going to take off for the day – poor her. I hadn’t slept for the last 20 hours and just flew with my toddler – get a grip.) she didn’t have to be a jerk. She then let us sit and wait for 2 hours. You try to sit and wait for 2 hours with a 2 year old. I was just lucky the batteries in my laptop still had juice, I had water and snacks for Kiddo.
Thank you for being so concerned that you called Chris to verify, if he indeed was English, that day, and I was who I said I was. He got the call, pacing and pissed, right outside customs. He hadn’t seen us for 2 months.
Thank you for being humane.
“Find your humanity! Haven’t you ever had a dream?” – Rapunzel in “Tangled”
I’m sure as you drafted these new immigration laws, primarily to slow population growth, you really thought you were serving the British people. When it’s all said and done, these laws are drafted by men (not God and I’m pretty sure not voted on by the citizens of the UK) and implemented by self-appointed, man-made institutions.
These new laws are not necessarily moral.
If they are changed one way, they can be amended or repealed, if seen as not in the best interest of the countrymen you are serving. Indeed these laws are making established families suffer greatly, blatantly disregarding family well-being and human dignity. In fact, Britons are organizing to bring attention to how classist and ridiculous some of the by-laws are: keeping your countryman out of the country, kicking out disabled people, and heavily pregnant mothers, even. Good work Home Office. Way to use your super powers for the greater good!
I apologize for the length of this post and sincerely thank you for reading it. If you are an MP, I beg you to act for the every-day British family who is in the heart-breaking cross-hairs of Home Office. It’s agonizing living apart from immediate family members.
With Sincere Love and the Utmost Respect,

Mrs. Christy Malone, M.Ed. Special Education
P.S. Please share, share, share!
P.S.S. If you would like to write letters please feel free to write the Honorable Theresa May here: